Here everything ends, and begins

Text

Dear People with Social Anxiety,

shuofthewind:

whitefluffyhat:

aproperroman:

awildvolpeappears:

morethanjustareadthru:

GET OVER IT

Everybody else feels exactly the same way you do but we don’t let fear dictate our lives.

Oh…ha

Go eat a bag of dicks, asshole.

In which Melody overshares in regards to her reaction to this post: all my friends had bad days, I miss them and just wish I could be with them, and the ones I’m with I wish I could make it better, and my roommate just broke a guy’s heart so they’re both sad, and I’m struggling with an email to my history professor trying to explain to him why I’m having trouble speaking up in class, and my good friend Beth just posted a long and really touching thing about her life so I was already having Emotions. And then this stupid fucking post just happened to be right under it. So.

I want to write a long rant about exactly why this pisses me off. But the thing is, this exact thought has been plaguing me lately, like why am I not normal, why can’t I just grow up and socialize properly the way everyone else in college does, instead of completely freezing up around everyone except maybe four people. Sometimes I feel like fear really does dictate my life and I hate it and it’s been really bothering me lately. I shouldn’t have to feel like there’s something wrong with me, but I do. And I hate it. And I hate this post. This post turned me into a giant squid of fury and stress. Tumblr, I love you, but you are a great big bag of dicks.

This was a long response that made no sense.

Okay, OP, listen to this:

Social anxiety is not something you get over. Social anxiety is a struggle. Every single day. Do you understand? Every. Single. Day. Do you think we like having trouble striking up conversations? Being unable to look someone in the eye? Finding it so, so difficult to make friends?

We try. We try every single goddamn day to fight this. But it’s not something that we make up for attention. Do you think we want to be this way? Do you think we make things so hard for ourselves on purpose?

We don’t choose to be who we are. We don’t choose to be shy. We don’t choose to be worriers, we don’t choose to be nervous, and we most definitely don’t choose to isolate ourselves, because believe me, most of us are so damn lonely it is almost physically painful. But sometimes we just can’t help it, because this is not something we can actually control. With time it gets easier, but it will always be there, and we can’t ever get rid of it.

There is nothing wrong with us. Each one of us is trying as hard as we damn well can to reach out even if it is absolutely petrifying. And all you’ve done through your post is make it phenomenally clear just how much you have no idea how it is we feel, and probably never will.

There’s no on and off switch.